Puns and Brews

The Best (and Worst) of Coffee Puns

If you’re a barista, or if you ever hang out in coffee shops, or if you’re anywhere in between, then chances are you’ve heard your fair share of coffee puns. 

But what separates the perfectly placed word-play from a poorly-aimed pun that leaves you bitter? Let’s dive in and see what we can extract. 

Puns, like coffee, are all about the timing. A badly-timed pun can leave you as sour as a twelve-second shot of espresso. You’ve got to know when the audience has been perfectly primed. For example, in the middle of taking their order.  

Me: Can I get your name for this order? 

Customer: Sure, it’s Florence. 

Me: So, that must make your friend The Machine. 

Other times to deliver a good pun are when the customer is on their way out, like a clean-finishing cup, a pun at the end of an interaction can provide a lingering and memorable experience. 

Customer: (Pointing to a newspaper lying on the table) I think that’s trash. 

Laura: That seems like a harsh indictment of the New York Times. 

However, as with matching the right coffee with the right person, one must be careful to know one’s audience. Although you may love the tart fruit-forwardness of a Guatemalan, or the sharp burst of laughter caused by a groan-worthy play-on-words, your audience is, more than likely, not you. 

Customer: Coffee.

Laura: Sure, we put the “fee” in coffee.

Customer: (Blank stare)

Laura: Never mind. 

At the end of the day, a person’s flavor-profile for humor is as diverse and changing as their palette for tasting coffee. And as baristas we continue to develop our ability to taste new notes, so too, must we forever perfect our craft in delivering the most gut-wrenching and too-dumb-not-to-laugh puns. 

As a good friend of mine says, thanks a latte for reading. 

1 comment

  • Hay Hay! – If I’m getting Coffee delivered currently and I’m moving/changing my address how do I contact you guys?


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